With a circus mind that's running round

Covers that might be better than the original

Well she's walking, through the clouds
With a circus mind that's running round
Butterflies and zebras
And moonbeams
And-a, fairytales
That's all she ever thinks about
Riding with the wind

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What Was I Doing?

It started out as a quiet week for Mom and me, before the insurrection in Washington DC took place. Mom had a little bit of a problem understanding what was going on in Washington, and it's a little difficult to explain for her, especially since I barely understand myself, but the pictures from the attack on the Capitol was as much as anyone needed to know what really happened. We first learned about the attack from CNN when we turned it on for our daily dose of Jake Tapper. What an amazingly bad thing this is. I agree with the people who are saying, "I told you so." We knew this was possible and it came to pass and we did precious little to stop it other than saying, "The sky is falling." This time Chicken Little might have been right.

I started my new planner for 2021. That's always a big thrill for me. It's like getting new school supplies at the beginning of the semester. A blank book that's yearning to be filled with great things. I use a couple of Hobonichi Techo planners to help manage my life: One to keep track of my days and responsibilities and lists and the other as a diary. I've always kept a commonplace book and they are collected somewhere in a box, but a diary is new for me. I like to imagine that the generations following me will read it, but that seems unlikely given my relationship with my family.

I watched The Queen's Gambit. It looks beautiful and reminds me very much of the art direction of Mrs. Maisel. (Well, the time period, the sixties might have something to do with that.) The last episode works very hard to pull everything together. It's like the band gets back together to play its biggest concert. There are a lot of pills and alcohol in the show, so if that's a trigger for you, as it is for me, then you have been warned. Inspired by the show and igniting my long-time interest in chess, I've bought an inexpensive chess set and some chess books from Amazon. Dr. Sanjay Gupta says in his new book that people my age can learn new skills and sharpen old ones and that this is good for the brain. I'll keep you up-to-date on this. When I was just a lad and in scouting, I received the scouting magazine, Boy's Life, every month and Bobby Fisher contributed a chess column. Even then, I knew that Bobby Fisher probably didn't actually write the column, but it didn't really matter to me. Bobby Fisher was such a big deal when I was growing up. I watched him on Dick Cavett and Fisher said that his objective when playing chess is to completely crush an opponent's ego. I thought that made him someone like Muhammed Ali. You can see his interview on YouTube.

The squirrels are still racing around the railings on the deck and seem to be a bit chunkier than a couple of months ago. I haven't seen any feral hogs lately and consider that a pretty good thing. The deer are active, though. Families of deer are still hanging around the house and traveling from wherever they live back and forth to Lake Alma and Frog Bayou. Birds are gathering around the house to nest in the eaves and the wasps and hornets that live in our attic have disappeared for the season.

This week, I intended to make it official and resign from the Jewish Burial Association of Madison. The task of serving on the board is very minor and, in my case, mostly ceremonial, so it isn't that serving is a burden. I just think that someone who lives in Madison should represent the synagogue. I've written an article for the synagogue's newsletter to help recruit a new representative. But... I received an email from my Rabbi that helped... change my mind. I will continue for the time being. I don't know what's going to happen with the article I wrote.

I've been reading selections from The Workshop, Seven Decades of the Iowa Writers' Workshop. I finished the lengthy introduction and am reading the Recollections chapter. Most of the book is an anthology of work from students / teachers from the workshop and I'm not particularly interested in this part. I got the book on an interlibrary loan and it had to be fetched all the way from Iowa. I'm wondering if it can from the collection in the workshop.

I'm still reading La Vendee by Trollope. One of the main characters has been killed in battle with the Republicans. Now, there's a traitor in the midst of the Royalists. Oh no! He became a traitor because of a broken heart. Now, he's been captured by the Royalists. Trollope has a different writing style in this book, very different from his books that are set in England. He seems to be trying to channel the French language through translation. It isn't his best prose.

And I've started the biography of Paul Morphy, considered the best American chess player ever. He fits into the model of a chess genius who lost his mind as he got older.

I made a crock full of black-eyed peas for New Year's Day. Originally, I intended to make it with ham hock but those plans fell through when I realized I hadn't bought any ham hock so I substituted a mess of bacon my aunt sent to Mom and me from Honey Baked Ham. They cooked all night New Year's Eve and smelled amazing. Mom and I enjoyed them on New Year's Day and the day after and are looking forward to having good luck in 2021.

Mom started reading the new Nicholas Sparks' book, The Return. Her sister sent it to her for Christmas. It's a change of pace from the Amish romances Mom has been reading for the past few months. Mom's a big fan of Nicholas Sparks. She's read several of his previous books and seen several movie adaptations. She finished the book lickety-split and we're going to send it back to my aunt who gifted it to her.

The really big news in the household is that I've received my health insurance from Arkansas. The social safety net is working for me. The struggle to get the insurance has made me wonder what other people do. I'm privileged, have great communication skills, and know how to work a bureaucracy. I also had great help from my brother. What about the people who don't have these blessings? What do they do? How do they successfully navigate the system?

Mom and I have been transferring our prescriptions from Walgreens to Walmart. And, in my case, from the University of Wisconsin pharmacy to Walmart. Due to a vast variety of issues, I ran out of two of my psych prescriptions a couple of days before Christmas and wasn't able to get them filled for about a week. Going "cold turkey" off these meds was painful. The withdrawal from them had psychological and physical consequences. It was bad, really bad, but I'm better now that I'm back on the meds. Like I said before, thank goodness for the social safety net.

I've been spending some time re-organizing my digital music library, editing the file folders and tags. And, I've been acquiring some new music too. I use MediaMonkey for these chores and have been using it for many years. I recommend the app. I'm thinking ahead to when my media server arrives from Madison and I get it hooked up. I'm intending to install it up in my bedroom along with my amplifier, and bookshelf speakers. I've been daydreaming about getting a DAC (digital / audio converter) to decode my audio files and CDs into analog, push them through my amplifier and then through the speakers. A DAC is supposed to make a big difference. A musician I used to work for gave a recommendation for an affordable DAC. I don't know where the speakers will be situated in my bedroom, but I'm sure I'll figure something out. In the meantime, I'm got a better bluetooth speaker for listening to music and watching "television" while I'm at the kitchen table.

I've been remiss not to mention Simplenote, an application from Automattic (the maker of Wordpress). I use Simplenote to help write these emails. It's a cross platform application that works on my 'phone, Windows and Ubuntu devices and synchs across all these platforms constantly. I can write notes on my 'phone, open the app on my notebook computer and all my work will be there on the laptop's screen. Other than the synching capability, it's a very simple app that allows for distraction-free writing. For "real" writing, I still stand by my recommendation of Scrivener.

One night, just before Christmas, Mom's best friend called to alert us that the Hallmark channel was airing its Channukkah movie and that we should watch it. Well, it was pretty much a Channukkah movie. Christmas figured into it too. Channukkah prayers were recited twice during the movie and the writers and actors got them right. All the Jewish characters were sarcastic and sassy and smart. There were Channukkah wreaths. That seemed odd. The movie was ok, but it was also a Hallmark movie. Mom and I watched many Hallmark Christmas movies this year. Regarding her memory, she remembers if she's seen a movie before and that fact cheers me although her willingness to re-watch these movies doesn't cheer me at all. When I was an undergraduate in Missouri, wondering what I would do with my English Lit degree, I considered going to Kansas City (a city I like) and try to get a job at Hallmark's world headquarters. That didn't happen, but I had it in my pocket if Plan A didn't pan out.

I'm headed back to the dentist for a little more work and I have an appointment with my physician coming up, the first visit covered by Arkansas insurance. I'm expecting my physician to order a bunch of baseline tests to bring me into her practice. One thing I like is that she's willing to manage my psych meds. With the University of Wisconsin, I crossed a threshold that meant I needed a psychiatrist manage my meds. I like the fact I have fewer doctors now.

When I returned to my new dentist to have some fillings redone, I decided that, after three visits I could formulate some opinions about both the dentist and his general situation. First, the practice does a great job of managing through the virus plague. Patients can not come through the door until a telephone call is made and the staff is alerted. Even then, patients wait in their cars until the dentist's chair is ready for them. Patients have their temperatures taken when entering the building and asked the common screening questions.

It's on entering the building that one begins to hear the music blasting throughout, cowboy music. That's what I call it but I imagine that it's more commonly known a country music. There's also a picture of the dentist's sons with their prize-winning pig. I'm really in Arkansas.

When I was with the dentist and the nurse, and the dentist was doing his work on my teeth, they had a conversation about what they gave their children for Christmas. The nurse has a five-year-old girl and the dentist has a five-year-old boy. Both of the children received a .22 rifle for Christmas. The girl received a .22 that's purple. I asked the nurse about that as we were cleaning up. I told her I didn't fire a .22 until I was 12-years-old. She said the same. She added that her five-year-old daughter isn't allowed to shoot the gun until she's five-and-a-half and this struck me. Is five-and-a-half some sort of NRA milestone I don't know about or is it some sort of compromise between the girl's parents: Mom said six and Dad said five. They agreed on five-and-a-half. I didn't follow up on this as it's a rather abstract issue for me as long as the child doesn't perform target practice on our property. In speaking with the nurse, I also learned that our first shotgun was a single-shot .410. I guess we have something in common although I never bought a gun for my daughters. Does that make me a bad dad?

I got an appointment for Mom and took her to the dentist this week. This did not go well. For one thing, sitting in the dentist chair meant she had to straighten her legs and that makes her knees hurt. Then, she wasn't used to modern dental practices so was caught off guard by the new techniques such as the suction tube stuck in her mouth. When the dentist showed up for the exam, her feelings were hurt that he wasn't personable and didn't introduce himself or try to get to know Mom. It turns out that Mom has four small cavities that need to get filled. Mom was pretty much shattered by the experience and needed a Xanax when we got home. Her follow-up appointment is February 3, so she has some time to recover from the experience.

For those who observe it, I wish you Shabbat Shalom. For those of you who don’t, I with you love and peace.

Until next time,
brian.